How did I ever miss this? I enjoy trolling for new, if at times, whacky inventions because they amuse me. Somehow this product escaped my notice when it was first introduced in Japan earlier this year. A Hello Kitty breath tester.

Hello hello Bono, what kind of kids are begging mom and dad to buy this, dare I call it, a toy? How about a school bully, using it as a way to wear the disguise of a kind, gentle, pink kitten loving innocent?

Picture this. You're five. It's snacktime. You spy a potential victim. Bradley. He stole your cookie, a Mallobar, precious because it's only sold in the cold winter months when it has a snowball's chance of staying fresh and crisp unlike the summer months when it goes soggy and limp. But I digress. You know Bradley has Halitosis, you saw him chewing on Lester Kelly's salami earlier. So, instead of hurling the tired but old school, "who cut the cheese, snicker snicker," at Bradley, an allegation that can be blatantly denied because of the difficulty of obtaining rock solid evidence, you surreptiously pull out the Hello Kitty BT from under your blankie. Bradley will pay, you say to your little developing brain. Not with a pointing finger, not with a knock over the noggin, but with an ego shattering accusation made ever more poignant and wounding by the grimace on sweet little Hello Kitty's face. "Ewww," you shout, "Bradley. Bradley has stinky breath. Bradley has stinky breath. Bradley's breath smells like poo. Poo breath. Poo breath." The other kids join in the chant driving Quasimodo, I mean Bradley, over and into the cloak room. The teacher, sensing her tenous hold on what could turn into a food fight, hestitates just long enough to do a quick breath in-to-the-hand check before she intervenes.

Fast forward twenty years later. There's Bradley, lying on a couch, talking to his therapist about the key traumatizing moment in his life and how it led him to swear off ever dating anyone who loves pink or cats.

Check out Medgadget if you want to find out how to get one in time for the holidays.