Irene went to her mailbox sometime this year and pulled out a letter from AARP. Seems that they wanted to know why she hadn't been taking advantage of their services. Given that she's still some time away from eligibility she held her breath just a bit longer than usual as she read through the offer.

A senior at 50, is that how it works? Someone once told me you were considered a senior citizen either when you turned 65, or when a full crop of grey pubic hair finally made an appearance, whichever happened first. Perish the thought.