BEAUTY IS IN THE ATTITUDE

Whereas yesterday I was in a funk and isolated, today consisted of flirtations, meditations, yoga, a stroll, a mani, a pedi and a haircut.

My hair stylist, a man, told me that he felt sorry for women. I quote, "They have to worry about their boobs sagging, their bottoms dropping, not to mention losing their sex appeal. They're under tremendous pressure to try to stay looking young for a very long time. It's sad really. I mean men are very visual they want the woman who is ten or twenty years younger."

It's not lost on me that it seems like I'm buying into the upkeep program my stylist guy is talking about. While I like to fluff there is much more to it than keeping the free radicals at bay. It's the lure of being fawned over that draws me to the salon especially since I spend a lot of my days alone. A head massage or hand massage is healing. It's all about that ever nagging skin hunger that I talked about before.

What's also healing is meditation though I'm not very disciplined about practicing. However, to quell anxiety and create some clarity around my new status as a soon to be single woman, I'm meditating a little more often lately. Who out there doesn't think figuring out a whole new life might call for some meditation? It's that or medication which in my case has been a bowl of popcorn and whatever's on television. Watching television leaves me feeling numb without having to suffer through a hangover the next day. But like any addiction I'm having to consume more and more viewing just to get the right blend of numbness. What the bleep am I going to do? At least I have choices. Maybe sooner or later meditation, hypnosis, therapy, and the support of friends will help me chip away at the old beliefs that keep me tethered to a maypole in a poolside home. It takes a village -- people -- or perhaps, when the metaphysical dust clears, just a cattle prod.

On to a shallow moment: A guy in a Ferrari tried to pick me up today while we were both waiting for a light to change. He was a lot younger than I am. That was before the primping session but after the meditation. Maybe he looked past the wrinkles and saw the aura instead. I'd like to think so. Fie to you, hairdresser - with lots of peace and light.